As we continue our Lenten series on Respectable Sins, inspired by Jerry Bridges’ book of the same name, we come today to the so-called sins of the tongue. While some of you may be wondering what in the world is meant by that phrase, others of you are thinking of several kinds of sins of the tongue that you could name and still others of you may be wishing you’d chosen to stay at home in bed because you really don’t want to be told that something you have thought of as innocent is actually sinful. The fact that Jerry Bridges included a chapter on sins of the tongue is actually a large part of what sold me on buying the book from a catalog years ago. It made me think that this Bridges guy gets Christian sin. Of all the sins that Christians tend to engage in without thinking of it as sin, I suspect that sins of the tongue are the most common.
What are sins of the tongue, though? Most of us probably immediately think of gossip when we hear this phrase. Gossip is the guilty pleasure of many Christians. Not only gossip about folks they know, not only spreading gossip personally, but also reading or watching gossip through such outlets as E-tv or celebrity magazines. Even some daytime talk shows are really mostly gossip.
I didn’t really understand what gossip was when I was young. That was in part because I grew up with a father who liked to watch HeeHaw – a country themed variety show that ran on CBS from 1969 till 1971 when it was dropped. (It was picked up in syndication and ran for another 23 years – a total of twenty-five seasons in all.)[1] There was one particular bit that involved gossip. It featured a bunch of women dressed in outfits that could have come straight out of the Li’l Abner comic pages. They would share gossipy stories with one another across a fence or clothesline, but all the stories were told in joke format. The bit opened with the refrain of a song that I still remember:
Now, we’re not ones to go ’round spreadin’ rumors,
Why, really we’re just not the gossipy kind,
No, you’ll never hear one of us repeating gossip,
So you’d better be sure and listen close the first time!
The verse of the song would be the latest gossip. While I didn’t always understand the punch lines, I did know that the women weren’t being very nice, even though the bit was often funny. As I got older and began to catch on better to the words and concept of the song, I realized that the refrain, while comical, was all too often true in the real world. Too many of us are willing to share a story with one friend, whom we swear to secrecy, even knowing that the story will spread from there. Too many are willing to tell a story once, but not repeat it, thinking that somehow excuses the gossiping we do. This is especially true among Christians, who will even manage to spread gossip under the guise of prayer requests. “Oh, y’all, we need to be praying for Mary Jo, bless her heart. I just heard she got fired from her job for stealing.” While I have never experienced anything even remotely like that in this congregation – you all are very discreet and appropriate, and I’m grateful for that – it does happen in some places. And it is still gossip, even if it’s not nearly as blatant as the example.
Yes, gossip is an issue for Christians as well as for non-Christians. But sins of the tongue are not limited to gossip. Jerry Bridges highlights several other sins of the tongue in his book. Lying, slander, critical speech, harsh words, insults, sarcasm and ridicule make his list as well. And he’s right. As advice, Bridges holds up Ephesians 4:29 as a verse that reminds us what kinds of speech we are to avoid. It says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Other translations use the word edifying in place of the phrase building up. Whichever words are used, the point is the same: Christians should focus on sharing positive, healing messages, not mean-spirited, destructive ones.
That’s a lot easier said than done, as are so many of the things Christians are called to. It is so easy to slip and say something that wounds another. Even when our intentions are to help, sometimes we can criticize in a way that does not help another improve, but that simply causes hurt and resentment. It is easy to embellish a story to make ourselves look a little better than another, hurting them in the process. It is easy to hurl insults when we argue, even with people we love. And it is easy to slip beyond gentle ribbing into hurtful ridicule when we tease too harshly. But what we say matters.
That’s the point James is making in today’s New Testament passage. He’s saying that even the most pure among us, who control our behaviors, do not always manage to control our tongues. He goes on to point out that this is a problem that goes beyond what seems obvious at first because the tongue is much more powerful than we think. Words matter. James compares the tongue, our words, to the spark that starts a wildfire, the bit that directs a horse, and the rudder that steers a ship. Each item is small in size, but wields great power. Each can lead to good or to destruction. But James goes on to remind us that no one has managed to tame the tongue completely. Even though we can tame wild animals, get them to behave the way we would want, we have not managed to tame our speech.
As if the knowledge that we injure others with our words is not enough to make us try to do better, James gives us the divine equivalent of “Do you kiss your mother that mouth?” He says, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing.” And he is right. It is not like we have one tongue that utters kind words and evil speech is uttered by a different one. W e have only one mouth, one tongue, and what should come out of it is good.
James points out that being careful to keep a civil tongue is especially important for teachers, meaning teachers of Christianity. He says, rightly, that they are judged more harshly. As a pastor, I can tell you with certainty that that is true. People feel very free to criticize the speech of one who preaches or teaches about Christianity. But what James didn’t point out is that in reality, all Christians are teachers. All Christians are living witnesses to their faith, so all are constantly teaching others – believers and non-believers alike – with their words and their lives. When any of us fail to use caution in our speech, those who hear us, including children in our own families, learn that what we say on Sunday morning is different from what we say the rest of the week. But it really shouldn’t be that way. We should remember always that what we say matters, even when we think no one is listening. After all, Jesus promised He is with us always, even to the end of the age, so we are never truly alone. We need to be careful always to try to make sure good rather than evil comes from our lips.
So how do we get good things to come out of our mouths rather than evil? One way is to actually pay attention to what we say – to think before we speak. Very good advice, but it’s not quite that simple. Bridges points out that controlling the tongue must first begin with controlling the heart. Good words come out of the mouth of a person who has a good heart. And I’m not talking about medical health, but about a person who focuses on what is good and right, who makes God the center of his life, who really tries to follow the golden rule, treating others as he would like to be treated. Good words come out of the mouth of a person who thinks good thoughts, focusing not on fame and fortune, but on holiness and righteous living. And the very best way to focus on holiness and righteous living is to focus on God, truly living out Paul’s exhortation to pray without ceasing.
If we are praying without ceasing, keeping God forefront in our minds always, remembering Jesus was able to know the thoughts and hearts of the Pharisees even when He was on earth in human form and therefore most certainly knows our thoughts and hearts, then we will be better at controlling the words that spill forth from our lips. Then we will engage in “more edifying conversation,” as one of my mentors Don Dawson used to say. When our hearts and minds are pleasing to God, then our words and actions will surely follow.
And I think that is why David wrote the words he did in Psalm 19. It is, perhaps, one of the simplest yet most important prayers we can pray: “May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, Lord….” What a difference it would make if we all reminded ourselves of these words, all prayed this prayer before we spoke. Not only in religious circumstances, not only when it is easy, but perhaps even more when we are just about to commit a sin of the tongue. Then, maybe, we could be as good as the inanimate things of creation that do a better job of praising God than we do, as it says in the Psalm: 1 The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. 2 Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. 3 They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them. 4 Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world. All of creation praises God – at least all the parts of creation without sins of the tongue!
So let us focus this week on refraining from sins of the tongue, on making sure our words build up rather than tearing down. And let us focus on that right now as we prepare to celebrate the Lord’s Supper. It is always a good thing to be focused on purifying our hearts and minds and speech, but perhaps especially this day as we prepare to take communion, to enter in a special way into the presence of our Lord and Savior by the power of the Holy Spirit. So I urge you to pray in your hearts with me as I repeat the words of David, “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, Lord, my Rock, and my Redeemer. Amen.”
- Information condensed from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hee_Haw 4-2-11.